Social media has so many benefits, but the negative impacts it can have on people, particularly children and teenagers cannot be denied. It can affect their sense of self, lead to constant comparison and pressure to look a certain way and a fear of missing out – to name just a few.
Sam Tyrer is the Head of Change Talks, our service dedicated to fostering resilience in young people and improving their overall health and wellbeing.
Sam said:
“Teenagers are developing their identity, and when that process plays out online, it can become warped. They often tie their self-worth to likes, followers or views – and when that validation doesn’t come, it really hits hard. What’s meant to be a way to connect ends up making them feel more isolated.
Recently I’ve noticed trends around ‘sad aesthetic’ content glamorising depression or anxiety, or using humour to mask really serious struggles. It’s easy for teenagers to start identifying with those narratives in a way that keeps them stuck.”
Sam has provided some advice to help parents and teens navigate this tricky topic:
The warning signs
There are some red flags, although these can be easy to dismiss as just ‘typical teenage behaviour’ if you’re not looking closely. A few things to watch out for:
- Becoming withdrawn or noticeably more irritable after being online
- Constantly checking their phone, even during moments which should be calm, such as mealtimes and before bed
- Struggling with sleep – especially staying up into the early hours scrolling
- A dip in confidence, or becoming overly focused on their appearance
- Avoiding in person social events, even ones they used to enjoy
- Regularly deleting posts if they don’t get ‘enough’ likes or comments – that one’s a big clue
It’s about spotting the changes in behaviour, especially if they seem linked to what they’re seeing online.
Starting the conversation
Don’t make it a lecture. Teenagers tend to shut down when they feel they’re being told off or analysed. The goal is to open a space, not interrogate. Use curiosity to open a conversation. You might say something like: “I noticed you seemed a bit low after being on your phone – how are you doing?” or “What’s your social media feed like now? I’m interested in what you’re seeing.”
It’s important to be human and you can even share your own personal experiences with social media to help them feel less alone. It’s about building trust and showing them it’s safe to talk. Remind them that talking about mental health isn’t a weakness, it’s one of the bravest and healthiest things a person can do.
Using social media as a positive force
Social media can be a positive force for all ages if used intentionally. These tips can be used for yourself and the young people in your life:
- Curate your feed like your wellbeing depends on it, because honestly it does. If someone’s posts leave you feeling rubbish about yourself, unfollow them
- Follow uplifting, positive accounts – whether it’s mental health advocates, funny memes or creators who promote realness over perfection
- Set time limits that you control, not the app. Use screentime tools to create healthier boundaries.
- Normalise taking breaks. You’re not missing out, you’re recharging
- Be wary of algorithms on certain apps. They learn what you linger on and it can quickly become all you see. It creates an echo chamber.
And most important of all, check in with yourself. Ask yourself why you’re opening the apps and if the answer is boredom or anxiety, try something else instead.
For more information about Change Talks, check out the website.
