Longer nights are drawing in, the twinkling lights of shop displays are enticing and you just can’t seem to escape the lovely tones of Michael Buble. Its Christmas time, that time of year that seems to come around more quickly with each passing year.
The festive period for many is a wonderful time of year filled with plays at schools, lots of food and of course giving gifts to our loved ones. It’s a time of reflection and prayer for many, a highlight of the year with the promise of new starts approaching with the New Year.
However, for a lot of parents up and down the nation this year’s festive season feels different. With the ongoing cost of living crisis still taking its toll for many of us and the financial pressures the festive season brings, it has left many feeling stressed and worried.
There is a constant pressure that comes with Christmas to buy an excess of food, buy the newest toy trends and keep up with an ever increasing list of Christmas traditions. It can leave many parents feeling that they aren’t good enough because they aren’t able to do all of these things.
Recent Results of a new YouGov survey, commissioned by the UK Committee for UNICEF (UNICEF UK) revealed that 70% of parents with babies and young children feel it is getting harder every year to be a parent in Britain, with the rising cost of living being the most common reason parents feel it is harder to be a parent now.
However, despite this it is also reported that over a third of parents haven’t informed their children about the cost-of-living crisis. Data from FLORA reveals that over one in five parents don’t intend to discuss the current state of the UK’s economy with their children as they’re too young and don’t want them to feel anxious or worried. However, it’s very important to remember that containing this stress can lead to more worry and feelings of guilt and although it isn’t easy having a difficult conversation, it may be needed.
Children are incredibly observant and often pick up on stressors and changes in the household despite it not being vocalised. When in schools we often hear from children and young people who are worried about what is going on in their home. We often hear about them being worried about their families finances, with their worries often worse than the actuality as they have filled in the gaps because this conversation hasn’t been approached.
It’s really important that we allow children and young people a safe space to be able to ask questions, express their emotions and provide them with clear, age appropriate responses. We shouldn’t overwhelm them and overburden them with information that they don’t understand, but offering straightforward responses in a calm manner can help many children’s worries about finances.
For younger children, it may be helpful to use books or TV shows to prompt discussions about the subject, and allow them time to ask questions and talk about how they are feeling. Many Christmas cartoons and books have a theme of a person being unable to afford a gift they would like in an age appropriate way, this could be a good place to begin.
Another tip that could help children is to get them involved in budgeting and the weekly shop. Not only could this help ease worries it will also help children build skills in understanding finances. It is important to remain solution-focused with this topic. Provide children with a small budget and ask them to find a list of items that you need, allow them to pick alternatives and work out themselves what is the best buy for the quantity and price. It can make shopping more entertaining for children and helpful for you too.
In the run up to Christmas it could be a good idea to set some boundaries and tell children that they will have one or a few gifts that are important to them. Some children may express disappointment at a reduced list of presents, but it is important to not get angry and redirect the conversation onto things your children already have. If children know what to expect earlier on, and have been given the opportunity to think about what will happen and talk openly, in an age-appropriate way, it can be a more healthy approach to cutting back and introducing alternatives.
It is also incredibly important to look after yourselves at this time of year. Reflect on what is most important to you, for many it will simply be spending quality time with family. Make sure you take time to do this, if this is important to you, and focus on how you can make the most of this time together.
One other thing that we often recommend for most people we work with be it children, parents or carers is to practice of gratitude. Christmas lends itself to be a time for reflection but taking some time to think of five things you are grateful for can be very beneficial and makes us thankful for what we do have in the current moment. It could be simple such as a hot drink on a cold day or playing a board game with your children, what we are grateful for is different for every person but acknowledging it can boost our mood and put a stressful time in perspective.
From Sam, Dave and I we all wish you the best for this festive season. This year has been one we will never forget for the Change Talks Team, with us all reaching multiple personal and work milestones this year. We are incredibly privileged to do the work we do to help so many families across the UK and a massive thank you to you for your continued support throughout it all.
With best wishes,
Naomi
Please also remember that help is always available to you in times of crisis.
If you need urgent help as you are in mental health distress, then there is always someone you can call.
Our Mental Health Crisis Line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by calling 0800 953 0110. It is staffed by trained mental health professionals who are able to provide assessment and referrals to appropriate services. Ring it if you need to access services or for advice about someone who needs treatment or support.
We also have a Wellbeing Helpline and Texting Service, phone lines are available Monday to Friday 7pm to 11pm and Saturday to Sunday 12pm to Midnight staffed by volunteers and those with lived experience, who can offer emotional support - ring if you want to chat about your mental health or are lonely. Contact the helpline on 0800 915 4640 or by texting Hello between 10am and 11pm Monday to Friday to 07860 022 846. The texting service is also available at weekends 12pm to Midnight.
You can also find more information about mental health services and self-help on our accessing mental health support page.
Christmas opening times 2023 for the Wellbeing Helpline and Texting Service
Same hours as above except for the following dates:-
• Sunday 24 December 7pm until 11pm
• Sunday 31 December 7pm until 11pm